Skip to main content

Back to school.

I was visiting a college after a long time. The aroma of Paav Bhaaji wafted in from the canteen. In my days canteens didn't serve paav bhaaji, not even vaada paav. That came much later. We lived on the staple of Idlee sambar in canteen and paani puri & bhel outside the college. Gastro not yet invented, eating out rarely hurt us.

There were students dressed in their best all around. Young people standing around in groups and chatting. Volunteers wearing various colored badges strode purposefully through the crowds.

I stopped one formally dressed young man, sporting an impressive looking red badge on his shirt, and asked him to direct me to Competition halls.

"You here as a judge Ma'am?" He asked me reverently. "Please come this way."

He took me to a large meeting hall, chilled to the max, respectfully pulled out a chair with super efficient wheels. It tried to escape and roll away like a trapped animal. I had to firmly grab it with both my hands before lowering myself in it. My guide in the mean time had returned with a severe looking girl, who also wore a big red badge, which I had figured by now, belonged to the Reception committee. Both stood on my two sides. Their hands clasped anxiously in front, they talked to me in hushed tones. There was something very theatrical about the whole scene. We were all playing roles we were not accustomed to.

" Tea or coffee ma'am"?

" Coffee please, “ I replied graciously, rather liking being waited upon.

" How about some snacks ma'am ?"

" No, Thanks. Just coffee will be fine".

" Have some samosas Ma'am."

I realized that by saying no to snacks I was veering away from the script. So I played along.

" Sandwiches will be great. I will have coffee and sandwiches"

The girl nodded and the boy vanished. I was left in the chilled hall, contemplating my glass of water, with the girl keeping an eye on me.

Half an hour later the boy arrived carrying Tea and samosas, and I didn’t have a heart to point out that this was not what I had asked for. May be the script had specified Samosas and tea

Soon a delegation arrived to escort me to the competition hall. I felt like the Ganapati idol being taken for immersion as we walked down corridors after corridors. Once I was installed in my chair, I was introduced to the artwork I was supposed to judge..

It was a Face Painting competition. I took one look at the colourful faces before and realized how much efforts the young ones had put into this. My flippant mood evaporated and I got down to business as seriously as they expected me to.

Each of the faces had a theme. And they had used their friend’s faces as a canvas to present their ideas. Difficult as the task was, I soon finished judging, and handed the awards to the winners.

Now I was ready to go. All I needed to do was find a loo. All that water I had been drinking was now protesting for all it was worth. I discreetly asked a girl where the ladies room was.

“Yes Ma’am, this way please.” I was taken to a big auditorium and was asked to take a seat. I said,” I am in a rush, can you just show me the ladies room?”

The girl looked flustered, and mumbled something about, please be seated, our GS is coming.

I sat shivering in that super chilled auditorium. Every time some one entered, I looked up expectantly. But no, GS was still missing. One after other five young volunteers offered me cold drinks.

I started wondering if this was some form of ragging. Give the guests gallons of water and cold drinks, make them sit in chilled halls, keep offering them more drinks, and deny them the loo privileges. This will break down the most hardened criminals, Very effective.

Meanwhile the volunteers had started looking worried. They could clearly see annoyance on my face. I kept looking pointedly at my wrist watch and was now ready to get up and find a loo on my own. But the girl was almost in tears when she said, “Just a few more minutes ma’am, the GS is coming.” I realized that the girl was more worried about displeasing that godlike creature- The GS. I had forgotten how majestic and all powerful a College GS, General Secretary seems to freshers.

In due course the GS strode in, surrounded by his minions. As soon as he stepped in he sent a few juniors to get him a samosa and cold drink, then remembering his manners, He gravely offered to get me a cold drink. I was by now ready to burst. I picked up my bag, stood there looking like a Christian martyr ready to face lions, and announced my resolve to be gone. “ Why am I being detain this way , if I may ask?”

GS looked confused and unsure” I will find out Ma’am, please chill, are you sure you don’t want a cold drink?”

I took a deep breath and lowered myself in the chair again. The GS whispered to some one to go find Sonal, a girl rushed out. Rest of them huddled at the opposite end of the hall, whispering among themselves, and keeping an anxious eye on me. I must have looked pretty irate and fierce. At long last, a girl rushed in making apologies.

“Sorry to have kept you waiting ma’am.”

She thrust a rose along with a small parcel in my hands.

“ A token of appreciation from all of us”. Every one clapped, a few cameras clicked. Sonal had arrived ready with the photographer. GS looked relieved.

I gave Sonal a quick hand shake and asked in a loud whisper,” Now can you please lead me to your bathrooms?”

Comments

Hi Suniti,

The Ganapati idol bit was really interesting. And all that cold drink in a chilled hall - I can imagine the helplessness!
Anonymous said…
Suniti,

I was relating to the whole thing sooo much... really. I mean while reading I went back to my own college days and tried to think, whether have I treated the judges like this ? may be yes...I guess this story should be on the pin boards of all the colleges :) lovely I must say... wow !!!
Jugal said…
:) nice.
but the humour looks stretched thin, i somehow probably either am in a busyheaded mood or just bored. so consider not minding my comment for now.

but yes, those are humour thing that could work when you're talking to someone, not while reading a story. :)
Max Babi said…
Suniti, nice easy flowing story... I was not prepared for a ribtickling riproaring tale, so I found it pretty effective to bring a smile to my fatigued face at 10.30 in the morning with the fierce Chennai sun doing its thing...keep writing, I have been thru' such situations, so it seemed nostalgic somehow. Cheerz!
LAK said…
This was good! I was trying to guess the ending, and could not!Couldn't they have waited for you to retur from the loo ad the givenn you your present?
Thanx for coming by my blog.
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

Popular posts from this blog

The gay and lesbian writing in India.

Perhaps the best session in the recent Kala Ghoda festival was “ Queering the pitch”, a discussion about gay and lesbian literature in India. The panelists were Sachin Kundalkar, R Raj Rao, and Maya Sharma.R RAJ RAO is a professor in the department of English, University of Pune. He is the author of several works including Nissim Ezekiel: The Authorized Biography and Yaraana: Gay Writings from India. Sachin Kundalkar is a Pune based, really talented young gay writer and film maker, writing in Marathi.Maya Sharma is a feminist, a lesbian, and is an activist in the Indian Women’s Movement.The panelists were articulate, came from different backgrounds, and above all, they didn't have an agenda. In fact, they have gone beyond agendas. Creative people, each one of them, they went about their chosen jobs as you are I would, teaching, writing, making films, whatever.Moderator Vikram Doctor kept the conversational ball rolling Raja Rao emphasized the need to look at gay literature as lite…

Tito and the Call girls.

"See, one more girl has gone in" Tito whispered to me urgently. I tried to take a look over my shoulder, but couldn’t. As the nature hadn't designed my neck to turn in 180 degrees, I had to depend entirely on the faint reflections in the glass door opposite me and Tito’s dramatic narration.

We were sitting in a fancy downtown restaurant. as we were meeting after a long time there was a lot of catching up to do. Right in the middle of ‘what happened to ...’ Tito broke off to exclaim in a shocked tone .."I say- these girls look like hook- I mean... call girls. Is this THAT kind of a joint?"

I was a little surprised to find this puritanical streak in Tito. I wasn't sure if I entirely approved.
In this metro city of ours I have stopped worrying about who does what for a living. From Barrister to Bar girl, each has to battle on the same turf every single day.

"Hmmmm ….May be they are" I mumbled into my wine. Having wine for lunch made me feel deliciously …

California Summer

I always knew that this visit was going to be different from my earlier visits to this country. Older I get (sigh!), more I find myself shifting from iWANT to iHAVE. This doesn't apply to iPAD of course, but that is indulgence with a capital I.

 When asked what I wanted to do during my visit, images rushed to my mind. It surprised me to find out that most were about food. Anderson's Pea soup, the corn bread and honey which I had for breakfast in Arizona, the square slices from the Round Table pizza, the baked garlic with bread and olive oil in Nepenthe...enchiladas stuffed which cheese with a side order of refried beans and fried rice...not to mention margaritas... boiled corn on cob with melting butter eaten at a camping trip..sourdough bread which is a part of american history...the list was unending. " You need to go on a strict diet" was my brother's detached summing up. Maybe so..maybe so.

Leaving the food aside I would love to visit gardens. I still dream …