Skip to main content

A Spam mail.

( After reading countless spam mails, I just had to try my hand at writing one :))

FROM THE DESK OF THE DIRECTOR OF INTERNTIONAL AWARD DEPT

Attn Lucky Winner,

WINNING NOTIFICATION FOR CATEGORY "A" WINNER ONLY
We are pleased to inform you of the result of the annual draw of our Lottery International Programs.
The online cyber draws was conducted from an exclusive list of 25,000,000 e-mail addresses of individual and corporate bodies picked by an advanced automated random
computer search from the internet.

CONGRATULATIONS!!!

You are therefore to receive a burial plot in our prestigious cemetery
‘ City of Silence’, Connecticut, USA.


City Of Silence,
the theme Cemetery at Connecticut, the best final address in the world.

At City of Silence, we have come up with innovative ways to make your final days memorable and enjoyable. Who says the final wait has to be boring? Now we bring you several options and themes to choose from.

1. Wild West / Gold Rush - A complete mining town with cobbled Main Street, town hall. saloon, hitching post, general store, a cat house, school, and a little church around the corner.

2. Artist’s Village - An artist’s colony, with art shops, bistros and galleries. Each tombstone will be decorated with motifs from the period or movement of your choice.

3. Political - You want to be buried like the heroes and leaders of the nation? It can be arranged. Last rites are accompanied with hero’s honors. The casket draped with the flag of a nationality of your choice and a 21 gun salute.

4. Family plot – Rest along with your family in a tastefully designed mausoleum, complete with a family tree and a portrait gallery. If you do not have a family worthy of being buried with you, never fear. We will provide you with relatives you can be proud of. Each of the dear departed will be supplied with testimonials of their achievement and an impressive portrait painted by renowned artists. Let the future generations remember you the way you want to be remembered.

Note :- Special charges for a tomb with a view. Your final rest is our grave concern.
Claim your awarded plot NOW !!!!!

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

California Summer

I always knew that this visit was going to be different from my earlier visits to this country. Older I get (sigh!), more I find myself shifting from iWANT to iHAVE. This doesn't apply to iPAD of course, but that is indulgence with a capital I.

 When asked what I wanted to do during my visit, images rushed to my mind. It surprised me to find out that most were about food. Anderson's Pea soup, the corn bread and honey which I had for breakfast in Arizona, the square slices from the Round Table pizza, the baked garlic with bread and olive oil in Nepenthe...enchiladas stuffed which cheese with a side order of refried beans and fried rice...not to mention margaritas... boiled corn on cob with melting butter eaten at a camping trip..sourdough bread which is a part of american history...the list was unending. " You need to go on a strict diet" was my brother's detached summing up. Maybe so..maybe so.

Leaving the food aside I would love to visit gardens. I still dream …

A credit card for free.

“ This is for you ma’am, compliments of the store”. The attendant at the cash counter handed me a credit card. I pushed it away as if it was on fire.
“ No thanks. I don’t use them much. And I have one already.”
The attendant looked at me pityingly. I always have this horrid suspicion that attendant kids always pity me.
Next twenty minutes were spent explaining to me, how , with the shop’s own ‘Privileged customer’ card and the additional credit card I was going to save thousands of rupees, not to mention earn brownie points and win free gifts like diamond earrings, DVD players, and a free trip to Goa.
“ And ma’am, it’s free!” That clinched the matter. A free card can’t hurt me much, can it?

After reaching home I pushed the unwanted card at the back of my desk drawer, and forgot about it. One year was over. And I started receiving bills for the never used card. I questioned the shop, and reminded them that they had said – Free card, no service charges.
“ Only for one year ma’am! Now you w…

Tito and the Call girls.

"See, one more girl has gone in" Tito whispered to me urgently. I tried to take a look over my shoulder, but couldn’t. As the nature hadn't designed my neck to turn in 180 degrees, I had to depend entirely on the faint reflections in the glass door opposite me and Tito’s dramatic narration.

We were sitting in a fancy downtown restaurant. as we were meeting after a long time there was a lot of catching up to do. Right in the middle of ‘what happened to ...’ Tito broke off to exclaim in a shocked tone .."I say- these girls look like hook- I mean... call girls. Is this THAT kind of a joint?"

I was a little surprised to find this puritanical streak in Tito. I wasn't sure if I entirely approved.
In this metro city of ours I have stopped worrying about who does what for a living. From Barrister to Bar girl, each has to battle on the same turf every single day.

"Hmmmm ….May be they are" I mumbled into my wine. Having wine for lunch made me feel deliciously …