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Distress of Spices

Once upon in the far away land called San Francisco lived a drop dead gorgeous young lady who had never stepped a foot out of her shop. She was forbidden. Like the Lady of Shallot, she viewed the world from her shop window, and chatted with her spices for company. Perhaps there speech was easier for her to understand than the assortment of accents floating around.

There were stray customers, ex-pat indians, who were finding it hard to understand why their young grand daughters, born and bred in the USA wore make up, didn't wear a bra and wanted to marry for love. After all THEY had never loved Their wives, and it never hurt them. The girl listened and made pickles for them.

She was also forbidden from touching another skin. In fact this disheartened her so much that she gave up all the attempts at dating as the spice made very effective chaperon.

Every time a handsome hunk passed by the shop on his Bullet, the spices all gathered around the girl, and hissed and booed him away, chilli being the rudest, loudest and noisiest.

One day this situation went too far. The Bullet Dude entered the shop. The girl started breaking rules and hell broke loose in the Spiceland. The Spice sulked. Even after her repeated entreaties, the turmeric won’t look at her, the saffron turned away disdainfully, Cinnamon stuck her tongue out, chilli was the most offensive, and kept muttering rude words under her breath. The Big Brother ( or Sister) Spice just doesn’t like Love.

The girl was quite quite upset. Spice was not talking to her! She tried to reason with them and cajole them into accepting the fact that she needed a life, but cumin, tulsi , ginger, garlic, bay leaf, cinnamon and pepper, both black and white variety, turned quite hostile and started doing evil things to her customers, burning their tongues and breaking relationships ( other people’s. The Girl’s own relationship with the Bullet was hunky dory. )

Mean while the hunk on Bullet developed a liking for spice, in spite of the chilly who was busy hissing curses at him meanly ( perhaps she reminded him of his ex ). He didn’t know why he kept coming back. We all thought it was to get yet one more dekko at the girl, but in reality it was because of Tulsi tea. He developed an addiction and had to have his daily fix of the spices. The revenge of the spices was complete.

What happens after this should be seen on the screen or your nearest grocery store. If you can imagine the guy behind the counter as Aiswarya it will be a big help. Just request him to pout and wiggle his bushy eye brows continuously
Or better still, go to your own kitchen, put oil on the fire and make a tadka using every spice imaginable. Make sure you have a hunk standing right next to you touching you seductively. Chillies will hiss, spit and get spicier that way.

Moral of the story- Learn to respect the Chillis.

The unforgettable scene- The girl and the Dude rolling on the bed of red chilli.

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